🌸 白色康乃馨

🌸 白色康乃馨

今(2025)年的母親節——是媽媽過世後的第一個母親節，也是第一次為她獻上一朵白色康乃馨。

昨天，到醫院做了健檢，接受電腦斷層掃描。檢查前打了一針顯影劑。雖說不上痛，但整個過程仍讓人感到有點不舒服。在這短短的檢查過程中，想到媽媽——那長達十年的臥病與看護，她經歷過無數次注射，加上極脆弱的血管，她都能默默忍過。相形之下，我顯然比她脆弱多了，更讓我深刻感受到，她所承受的痛苦，遠大於我們所能想像的。

母親節過後，媽媽離開我們滿一年了。去年這時，寫過一篇《追思文》，提到鄉親們曾稱她為「九甲鐵牛」。這「鐵牛」，不是一般人口中的「任勞任怨、累如牛馬」，而是在我心目中，那「堅毅不拔、當仁不讓、舍我其誰」，更勝「不讓鬚眉」的精神。

今年，買下第一朵白色康乃馨，代表我對媽媽獨有的思念——最了解她的人。白色康乃馨不只是紀念，更象徵媽媽一直在我們心中。

🌸 The White Carnation

This Mother’s Day — the first one since Mom passed away, and the first time offering her a white carnation.

Yesterday, I went to the hospital for a general check-up and had a CT scan. Before the scan, I was injected with contrast agent. It wasn’t exactly painful, but the whole process felt somewhat uncomfortable. During that brief procedure, I couldn’t help but think of Mom — through her ten long years of illness and care, she endured countless injections, made even more painful by her extremely fragile veins. And yet, she bore it all in silence. Compared to her, I was clearly much more fragile. It made me feel, more deeply than ever, how the pain she endured went far beyond what we can imagine.

After this Mother’s Day, it will have been a full year since she left us. Around this time last year, I wrote a memorial piece in which I mentioned how the villagers used to call her “The Iron Ox of Jiujia.” But this “Iron Ox” was not the common image of someone who simply “labors endlessly without complaint, like a beast of burden.” To me, it represented a far greater spirit — unwavering determination, fearless responsibility, and the kind of strength that says: “If not me, then who?” — a spirit that went even beyond “measuring up to men.”

This year, I bought my first white carnation — a symbol of the singular bond and memory I carry for Mom, as the one who knew her best. This flower is more than remembrance — it speaks for itself: Mom, you’ve always been in our hearts.